This is my story of how Christ saved me in my lowest moments. I don’t have an exact date that I became a believer, but it was a series of events that led to my salvation when I was 17.
I was born and raised in Southern California and the youngest of four, but in our home you had to grow up quickly. My mother struggled with a meth and alcohol addiction most of my life and suffers from schizophrenia. My father was never in the picture. Life with my mom was always chaotic, but when you don’t know anything different, it feels normal. Keeping that in mind, I would say things didn’t really start to get unhinged until I was 13.
My mother was sent to a mental hospital and I was sent to Little Rock, Arkansas to live with my uncle. I lived with him for about 6 months and during that time my mother was working on her mental health and was able to secure a home for us. I was then sent back to California to live with my mom. To tell the truth, things did seem better.
We were moving around a lot because of the rising rent costs, but life was okay until I was about 15. We couldn’t afford to live in our apartment at the time, so we were going to be moving again, but this time it was different. My mom disappeared. I didn’t know where she went. I was alone trying to figure out where I was sleeping, how I was going to continue going to high school, and how I was going to eat each day. This went on for about 6 months, and the Lord truly provided in those moments.
I ended up moving in with my grandparents. I lived with them for about a year and a half, but the whole time I was a disrespectful teenager that didn’t understand rules. I ended up moving in with my sister. During my time there I witnessed my sister being mentally and physically abused by her husband. One day I decided I had enough and stepped in to try and protect her, and the fighting stopped. But my sister decided to send me to Fort Hood, Texas to spend time with my brother. She said I would go for a couple days until things cooled off, and then I’d come back to California.
But as soon as I got there, my brother told me I wasn’t going back, so Texas became my new home. I would say living in Texas was probably the worst season of my teenage years. During the three months I lived there I wasn’t allowed to eat any of their food or use any of their toiletries. I lost a lot of weight from not eating much and had to go to my neighbor’s house to brush my teeth.
One day my brother and I got into a bad fist fight, which resulted in me getting sent to Florida to live with my mom. My brother had found my mom! Apparently she was doing better. I lived with her for a few weeks, but it was obvious that my mother was still using drugs. My uncle lived one city over and came to our apartment. He told me, “Angel, either you come live with me or you stay here and your life spirals down the hole it’s been going down until you end up like your mom.” That night I wrote a pros and cons list, weighing out my decision.
The following day I moved in with my uncle. He had become a believer and was producing Christian hip-hop. He was part of a Christian hip-hop group, and they were rapping about Jesus. I would go to the studio with my uncle everytime and these guys were pouring into me, doing Bible studies, and introducing me to music from Lecrae and Shai Linne.
Something just finally clicked and everything became so clear. I looked over the hopeless life that I had been living and realized that if I were to die, I would be going to hell, and that I would deserve it. Up until that point I lived with such a legalistic view, that if I told people about God and fed the homeless I would be good enough to be in His favor. But now I had seen that I was guilty and had sinned against a Holy God. I needed a savior and He demanded that I wholly and solely live for Him.
The best way I can explain it is Ezekiel 36:26, when it says He will remove the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. I was given a heart of flesh and was made alive! From that day forward, I continued to grow in His truth by His grace.
Every single day is a struggle, no doubt, and I continue to sin on a regular basis, but the Lord is constantly forgiving and molding me more into His image. I ended up becoming one of the singers in the Christian hip-hop group and started spreading the gospel through music.
I needed a savior and He demanded that I wholly and solely live for Him. The best way I can explain it is Ezekiel 36:26, when it says He will remove the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
About a year later I met my husband, CJ. He was a rapper in the community and ended up joining our group. We would do shows all over South Florida together. We now have 3 beautiful little girls and are coming up on 12 years of marriage. Relationships within my family are in such a better place now, and my mom is working on her sobriety.
I am thankful for the journey. God is good! Now I serve alongside my husband with RUF as Campus Staff at Lehman College in the Bronx, New York, reaching college students with the gospel and equipping them to serve Christ’s Church.
If you’d like to learn how you can support the work of CJ and Angel’s ministry at Lehman College, you can visit: https://ruf.org/ministry/lehman-college/. You can also read more of CJ’s story here.
